If my friend is a guy why is that problem, I ask

If I am not comfortable with a girl and share all my secrets with a boy, does that mean I am wrong?

Does that make me bad?

Yes, my friend is a guy and I go along with him like other girls do with their girl friends.

Why is gender an issue in our society?

When I walk around with my friend, my character is being judged.

When I meet him in public places we are being seen a something we are not.

Eyes follow us where ever we go. We feel uncomfortable too; why should others judge us -- we ask each other; but then they judge us.

A relative sees you with him; you become worried about what s/he thinks. They may call up your parents, they may think you are in a relationship; the news will reach all your relatives, you will be associated with him and people will talk at your character -- sometimes on your face and sometimes on your back.

You cannot go to each one of them individually and make them understand what relation you share with this guy. You cannot change their perspective about you, for them you are now a bad girl; a real bad girl as having a relation with a boy is after all no good in our society.

But why this mental makeup, I ask.

Why this lack of understanding, I want to know.

See us normally for we are friends -- just friends. Yes, our society doesn’t accept a boy-girl relationship, I know. But friends cannot stop being around each other.

They say you will end up spending your life this guy for he knows you the best – but I contradict.

Get our relationship right. I am not going to spend my entire life with this man.

It might take me other life to make all you people understand that a boy and a girl can be friends as well but I am sorry I cannot help you.

All I can give you is an unsolicited advice to desist from hooking every boy-girl you see roaming around; change your perspective of viewing a relationship.


(Blogger is a student at Women's College, M.A Road, Srinagar)